The year 2011 was one of many surprises! My online world was great, met wonderful people and was given the opportunity to write several books. I will be working with an incredible publishing company and look forward to writing many more books with them.
I also met several people and created a wonderful community with hopes to reach out to busy women with inspiring, motivating and encouraging words. Believe me, I know how stressful it is to be a woman, a working woman and one with many children. However, I’ve also learned that stressed is not the way to live, instead it is truly important to realize the many blessings that are around me. So of course my mantra has and always will be that I choose to be blessed not stressed.
Well, let me tell you that the mantra has helped me in many situations in my life and I was truly tested on December 23, 2011. This is the day that I received the news that I was going to be a grandmother. Although it should have been a moment of joy, honestly that was not the first emotion that surfaced. After my beautiful daughter shared her news, I had to look away and simply walk away. I needed the time to process this information.
I proceeded to go up to my bedroom and fall to my knees. I cried and asked my heavenly father- why? I then proceeded to tell him that I was not ready for this, I was not ready! It was then that one of my younger children knelt by me and simply placed her hand on my shoulder. I knew then that I had to be strong and that it was not about ME..it was now about a new life. I guess I needed to let out all the emotions and take the time to listen to God. Once I listened, I knew that this was the time my child was going to need me the most. I realized that her telling me this news had to be difficult but she mustered up the strength to do so. Now I had to muster up the strength within me to support her and my grandchild.
I often wonder why things happen and quickly remind myself that we are not to question or wonder. Let me tell you that as faithful as I am, I have found myself questioning a lot these last few weeks. My faith has grown stronger and stronger each and every day. I have come to realize that this situation is a true blessing. My daughter is alive and with child and it could be ten times worse. I also know that my child needs me now more than ever. She needs guidance, and more than anything a supportive and loving mom.
So, my huge unexpected gift is that I will be a grandmother. Is this what I had dreamed for my child? The simple answer is ‘no’. But I have also accepted that my dreams were simply that, my dreams. As parents we all have dreams for our children, but we must understand that our dreams may not always come true. Quite frankly more often than not, they will never come true. As a parent we must build a strong foundation for our children and pray that although the foundation may crack because of their choices, they must learn from their choices.
Am I disappointed? Honestly, I am, but only a little bit. I am actually happy and proud of the decision my daughter, soon to be a mother, has made. She is preparing herself for the many changes that will occur in her life and that’s all I can ask for. I am grateful and thankful that she is alive and that I will soon have a grandchild. Although I was not ready to be a ‘Mima’ for another 10 years, God certainly had different plans.
The lesson here is that as much as I would want things to be different they are not. I must accept the fact, support my child and love her more than ever before.
Will it be difficult? Absolutely! As a parent, I know how difficult it will be but pray that she will make the right choices now for not only herself but for the child she will be bringing into this world.
The praying continues…